{The Santa Story} NO! He Isn't Real!

As the season draws nearer to Christmas, my son is always full of questions about Santa and how he delivers gifts and where he lives and he goes on and on…

My answers have been suspect to my own ears and circumspect to his which is probably why he has so many more questions!

He'll say, "So Mom - Is Santa real?"

I usually say something like, "Well, Santa lived a long time ago…"

Man… Its hard tho. I realized that many of my cyber friends and real life friends were grappling with the same issues. - To tell or not to tell… Many of the parents who never put up the facade or changed their modus of operandi said that they did so because they tired of lying to their children and didn't want to give their children the impression that lying was a good idea nor did they want to tarnish their good image!

This year I decided to forgo the fairy tale and let him in on a little bit of truth:

I am Santa Claus! Or Ms. Claus to be exact! He loved that one!

BUT

It didn't seem like the right thing to say…

So I had to clean it up a bit and say, "There is no Santa, Joe. He may have lived a long time ago and helped the poor and gave out gifts, but the reason for the season is Christ not Santa and I am the one who buys you gifts in remembrance of Christ's birth."

Of course I then had to explain so I went on to tell him that we celebrate Jesus by putting an angel on the tree to represent the angel who spoke to the Three Wise Men and we give each other gifts to represent and celebrate His birthday and sacrifice to us in coming in the flesh, to save us from ourselves.

I know that many of these traditions are Pagan in their origin and even the date of His birth was in Spring. Yes, I know this. BUT I also know that I want to exalt and celebrate His coming with my children and Christmas is the only game in town!

We don't particularly go for the commercialism of the season and I don't say X-Mas because that too takes away the meaning of the celebration! I mean you can't have Christ-mas without being a Christian! It's a private party for The Lord and no party crashers are allowed! LOL! Although many do try to take Christ out of Christmas, me and family we will worship and praise The Lord.

Anywho - if you want to see how we celebrated Him this year - check out my blog That NY Naturalista for more details!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

~Super Faye

Trials and Errors

My daughter just stood in my face and said, "Well, you know about displacement."



This whole conversation has been about her behavior over the past 2.5 years. It's been horrible; mood swings, temper tantrums, screaming at her brother, nasty attitude, disrespectful, talking out of the side of her mouth like she wants me to smack her face off.

We've done therapy both secular and Christian and it all boils down to this:

Her father.

She attempted suicide on Father's Day last year, but that was only a part of the rising action it seems because her behavior seems to be the same and the subsequent therapy's effects have not been long lasting.

Well, what about her father you ask?

Just about everything; he's an ex-con who was extremely well off due to his illegal activities, who now works in the food industry making pennies. His self-esteem is in the toilet because his money isn't where it was and he doesn't actually know how to be a father because he never had one. In a nutshell, he's lost and he isn't he best role model for her, which is obvious to her at this juncture.

Wait! What? Why did I, in all of my fabulousness, choose someone like that? Well, I was broken at one time in my life and he was what I thought was a friend; in actuality he wanted me to be a trophy girlfriend and when I began to step out of that role and find my voice, things got real dicey between us. He attempted to kill me and we broke up.

The end....

For us.

But for his daughter who he begged me to have, because believe it or not - I am pro-choice and having her was not my first one, it's just beginning. I think the reality of who he is and what he isn't, has finally came to roost in her mind and it's driving her crazy to have to really think about him as he is and accept him.

Side note: Last night she told me she thought I was Aaliyah and he was Biggie Smalls when she was little...smh (shelteredchildren.com)

Back to the matter at hand: I want her to be able to reconcile their relationship without displacing her anger at him on me and her brother.

Funny thing is, my daughter already knows that's what she's doing hence the statement that started this post.

Now, I just pray that she will be able to not only know it, but control herself enough to stop...

I love my children...